When Depression Kills

When tragedy strikes, we want to understand why, and how it could have been prevented. Sometimes when trying to understand why, we look for someone to blame. Over the past week since the much loved unconventional rock star of chefs, story teller, world traveler and some would say journalist (despite claiming to be without nomenclature when it came to his vocation ), Anthony Bourdain took his own life; there has been a lot of talk as to why and what caused him to take his own life. Naturally, when an adored public figure like Anthony who would seem to have it all suicides, the public try to fill in the missing puzzle pieces with their own theories as to what would have caused someone to end their own life. I would strongly advise anyone who is trying to figure out the mystery behind his suicide to stop right there, as the answer is simple yet complex too. The simple answer is depression. Depression is the devil; it lies, it steals, and distorts reality without mercy. It is relentless in its hauntings, obsessive in the destructive messages it repeats over and over feeding through your mind. Depression will say you’re a sham, you have no purpose; it will tell you the world will be better off without you. Depression hurts in indescribable excruciating ways and sometimes to the point where one will take their own life to obtain some reprieve. Yes, depression can be that unbearable.  


Above, Bourdain, being “Screeched” in Canada’s East Coast province Newfoundland on CNN’s Parts Unknown 

To place blame on anyone for another person’s suicide is deplorable and ignorant. Suicide is never about one reason or one person. Suicide is caused because of a sickness of the mind, and no one knows or understands the chemistry of another person’s mind. People are complicated and like an onion we are all made up of many layers and we all collect a few demons in between the layers; some we slay, some live on indefinitely. 

 

Picture above advertising CNN’s Parts Unknown with Bourdain sitting on a comfy chair resting upon Canada’s “East Coast’s Rock” better known as Newfoundland. 

I didn’t know Anthony Bourdain besides watching his show on CNN Parts Unknown and other travel foodie shows he did like No Reservatiom. He appeared to be this no nonsense authentic guy who marched to the beat of his own drum. I have seen news articles on the internet about blame being cast on his girlfriend Italian actress, Asia Argento, and scandalous nonsense insinuating she was the cause of his self-inflicted death. I have read the comments of trolls and haters making statements about how Asia’s grief is laughable, and to think about how his daughter feels and et cetera…  Imagine comparing the grief of others like grieving is a privilege and not a human right, it is ridiculous.  Comments made by individuals who knew him as well as I knew him – which basically was not at all. 

 

Asia isn’t to blame, his ex-wives aren’t to blame, his parents, his past, a bland dry meat he encountered, nor the current state of the US were to blame. It was the depression and his demons which I am sure were many. With regards to Asia, for anyone to put this kind of blame on someone who is in a fragile, wounded state, who has her own depression & demons to slay, it is so wrong. Bashing anyone publically on social media and through other avenues does have the potential to take depression to the next level of no return.  Let’s be mindful of what we say on social media and how it can impact others. 

 

Please do not blame anyone when a suicide occurs. Depression kills and depression is to blame, no one else.  Be kind to one another as we are all battling  demons & ghosts of various sizes.

Peace & Love – Rachel

Self Confidence is a Skill!

Self Confidence has been a struggle for most of my life; lack of confidence has directly attributed to stumping my own career growth and has fueled fear to not follow my dreams.  During an interview process, what can tip the scales outside of your favor (if hiring is external to an organization or not mandated by a union) is if you do not project confidence, especially when the position demands a level of self assured assertiveness.  Lets face it,  if you don’t believe in yourself, who is going to believe in you?  No one.


What a weight to carry, as an adult, to me it meant the following “forget ever having a fruitful career or accomplishing your goals because you need to be confident and you’re not confident and how the hell are you going to become confident?”  I felt hopeless, doomed to live a life of mediocrity living vicariously through my intellectual and ambitious fiance, who has a successful career in communications and public relations, who can eloquently discuss just about any topic with confidence or exit the conversation in a gracious way without missing a beat (ugh!) ; he has the gift of gab and I have the gift of blab.  Yet, Brian will be the first one to tell you how many hours he will put into preparing for a presentation or interview, and how he researches, reads, studies and then rehearses what he will share, hours upon hours of preparation so nothing can rattle him.  He makes sure he will succeed, it doesn’t come to him with ease, but in my biased opinion, I think he is pretty brilliant with or without the hours of practice.

A few weeks ago I began trying to change the internal self deprecating self talk tape reel in my head; I have been trying to flip the way I think and be more kind to myself with my words.  We are our own worst critics and we call ourselves the most horrid things like, weak, coward, stupid, lazy and the list goes on.  I have been reading a lot about leadership skills and I have been listening to a lot of TED Talks to help motivate me as I will admit, the topic of confidence and lack of it in myself has been on my mind a lot.  I have googled “How to become more confident” and I have searched on Pinterest for “Top ten attributes of a confident person”, I have even read up on lions and their behaviors, I have practiced “power posing” at home DESPERATE to apply whatever I can to take myself out of the zone of low self confidence.


I recently came upon an inspiring TED talk, and it has put me on this self discovery journey which I am exhilarated to explore further.  The best part is I know I can become confident, in fact I am confident that confidence can be achieved by me, or anyone for that matter.   This TED talk is  less than 14 minutes long by Dr. Ivan Joseph called The Skill of Self Confidence.   Automatically, I was drawn to the word “skill” as to me a skill is something you can learn, or something you can practice at, a skill is something achievable if you put your mind to it.  I felt encouraged instantly by the shear title of his talk, and I may not be oozing with self confidence yet, but I know I can learn anything.    Straight away I like the sound of Dr. Joseph’s gregarious kind voice and I feel inspired; I can tell this guy has confidence, but not only that he is probably a great leader too. I won’t share the details of his talk as I would encourage everyone to take a listen to it and reap the benefits of what he has to say.


For life transforming inspiration click on the below to take a listen or watch the video:

Just some 411 on the presenter, Dr. Ivan Joseph, is currently the Director of Athletics at Ryerson University & from what I read he has been a mover and a shaker; he is also Canadian (woot woot!) and obtained his PhD. before the age of 40!!!


What I learnt was if you want something, you don’t take no an answer.  If you are not successful the first few times, you don’t stop trying; if you are told no 20 times, but you still want whatever it is you are looking to pursue, whether it be a particular career goal, or an entrance exam into law school – you keep trying until you are satisfied with the result.  If you have a dream job interview, and  you know the competition is steep, you prepare, prepare and prepare, you rehearse the answers to the questions you think they may ask over and over; you go over materials until you know as much as the CEO of an organization should know, if you do this type of preparation, guess what?  You’ll be confident.  Dr. Joseph used an example of preparing  a speech and how you practice and go over it again and again, until you are confident.


Practice, it is such a simple concept.  I remember before a piano recital as a child practicing a piece endlessly as there was no way I was going to play the piano in front of an audience and fumble, so when I did play, I could play the piece backwards and forwards without error.  My confidence in performing came from tireless repetitive practice.


Dr. Joseph also mentioned using positive affirmations and brings up Muhammad Ali’s famous self proclamation  “I am the greatest!!!” and man oh man, he was the greatest, he was saying it and believing it before it became truth.  Self-confidence is the belief you can do it and who will believe in you unless you do? We truly are [the masters of our fate] and [captains of our ships], where we land in life is within our control.  Do you comprehend the power behind those words – WE as in you and I – we are the grand conductors of our lives and what we accomplish; no one else has the right to dictate what we are successful in and what we accomplish, no one else has that power unless we give it to them.  That is mighty powerful stuff my friends.

Image result for success confidence quotes

Dr. Ivan Joseph brings up J. K. Rowling and her beloved Harry Potter and how she was rejected by 12 publishers before The Philosopher’s Stone was published.  Can you imagine?  J. K. Rowling was living on welfare, a single Mom and created this masterpiece which has made her a billionaire; Harry Potter is not only a series of books, but a powerful franchise.  Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was four years old and was unable to read until he was seven years of age; he was believed to be intellectually challenged…  He showed them! 
I am thirsty to be more, I am hungry for success and in order to get me to where I need to be, I must be confident and relentless in what I want to achieve, and today for the first time ever I know I can be confident, as today I learnt confidence is a skill.

If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed.  I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.  – Thomas Edison

You can learn a skill, you can practice a skill until it comes naturally and confidence is a skill.   Chew on that my friends, and thank you Dr. Ivan Joseph for  showing me this beautiful simple truth.  I hope all of my readers feel encouraged to pursue your bliss and keep reaching for the stars.  You’re going to fall, you’re going to fail, but you’re going to get back up and try, try, try again until…  Speak encouraging words and be kind to yourself.

Peace and Love – Rachel

Follow Your Bliss

I recently watched a film called “Finding Joe” by Patrick Takaya Solomon. 

I only came to find out about this film as my friend was seeing a Life Coach and it was recommended to her to view.  For the past decade or longer I have been trying to figure out what will make me happy; what is the one thing which I love doing?  I thought meeting the love of my life would solve the majority of my dissatisfaction in life, and it has helped tremendously.  I cannot imagine like without Brian now. 


Enough with the throat clearing, I watched “Finding Joe” which is based on the findings of Mythologist Joseph Campbell. The cinematography was low budget, but the message this film packed was priceless & well worth the watch.  A potentially life changing film, challenging the viewer to choose their own adventure or own path. 

One of the questions posed was if you had all the money in the world and you didn’t have to work, what would you do with your time?  Whatever it is that you would be not willing but wanting to do in your spare time could be your bliss.  What fulfills you? What sets you on fire? The question probes further asking what was your passion during your youth, what did you enjoy doing before you were told what to do, how you should think, what you should want? 


Do what you love, love what you do is where we are going with this… Some may struggle to answer these questions and trust me, I have been beating my brain endlessly trying to figure out what I am good at and what I enjoy; what I would do for free if money was not something I required to live.  Last night, it became abundantly clear to me; we are talking crisp high definition clarity, and it is no wonder I have been searching for so long. 


My family is my cornerstone and I know part of my bliss would be spending more time with them & taking the time to visit South Korea.  My family is for certain part of my bliss. Yet my family is not “doing me”.

If money wasn’t a concern, what would you do with your time? 


Joseph Campbell’s best known quote is “Follow your bliss and the Universe will open doors where there were only walls”.  The film goes on to discuss human conditioning and how fear of failure is what prevents us from pursuing our bliss or our true passions. In facing our fears, it compares us to facing our demons and slaying the dragons (our fears) which are the obstacles in the way of our success.  


The film discusses how each one of us has a wicked talent or mad skill which is innate to our unique being and is at the heart of our true essence.  We need to be brave in our journey & be willing to become uncomfortable so that we can transition into who we are meant to be.  


Some of you may be reading this and thinking, this is a bit too fluffy for your comfort, but imagine if you could wake up every day and do what fuels your soul, when hours pass by and they feel like minutes because you are doing you and exactly what you were designed to do – you – your purpose for being here on earth.  Think about it…

Peace & Love – Rachel

The Good News About Anxiety 

Believe it or not, there is plenty of good news about anxiety.  For one, for most people it is temporary as I can tell you it would be impossible to maintain a constant state of anxiety; it generally ebbs & flows.  Plus, I just read that anxious people or those who worry a lot are generally more intelligent than the average non anxious individual.  Hey man, I am going to take any kudos I can.

However, let’s get back to the first point I made, it is temporary. And here is the one time you may not want to be in the present and you do want to focus on the future, and knowing the anxiety will pass.  

As like any emotion or feeling, nothing lasts forever.  You cannot be blissfully joyful indefinitely and you cannot be in a state of anxiety indefinitely.  Knowing this truth can unwind you a bit, knowing the tense feelings will go away eventually. 

Everyone is made up differently, but another good thing which can come out of anxiety is sublimation.  To sublimate is a psychology term where you take a negative behavior and replace it with a positive one.  When you’re riddled with anxiety, this can be a challenge, but if you’re able to force yourself to sublimate it is well worth the effort.  

I know my anxiety stems from a lack of control, often not directly involving myself, but others and my reaction to being completely and utterly unable to control a situation around me which is indirectly impacting me (like my Dad when he was in the hospital & being two hours away from him).  

Here are some ideas which help take my overthinking mind to a more serene state.  

  • Reading 
  • Cleaning if I cannot focus on reading
  • Going for a run to build up those happy endorphins
  • Doing laundry (as boring as it sounds it helps me feel like I am accomplishing something)
  • Blogging
  • Listening to relaxing music
  • Prayer & meditation 
  • Taking friends up on invites out

I do understand that if your anxiety is unbearable or at a level you can barely function the above ideas will most likely seem laughable.  I have had my moments in the past, where it all becomes too much and overwhelming.  If you are at this level of anxiety, there is no harm in speaking to a professional, in fact, you should.  If you’re worried about the stigma of having a therapist, don’t. If you feel like utter crap and like you cannot get out of your head, you best be speaking to someone, whether it be a trusted friend or someone like a therapist.  If you are working, you can check with your organization to see if they have an employee assistance program, where you can be hooked up with a social worker to talk things out.  

Talking helps, just make sure it is someone supportive as you don’t want someone giving you tough love when you are on the brink of breaking.  

So, yes, if you are unable to sublimate, talk to someone, whether a trust worthy friend or a professional.  Again, remember the feeling of being out of control it will pass.  I can 100% guarantee you, it won’t last forever and you will laugh again, you will find joy again, you will be okay.  

You will be okay.  

Love & Peace – Rachel 

My Little Panic Attack

I have been very fortunate to have only experienced three panic attacks in my lifetime thus far.  A panic attack is different from an anxiety attack and many confuse the two.

An anxiety attack results from something which is causing you anxiety, and you are aware of what is causing your heightened anxiety.  For example, driving during a blizzard on the highway and having a Mack Truck tailgating you while your parents back seat drive you; add in the fact you despise winter & highway driving .  You may have an axiety attack from all of the stressful stimuli.  You may find your heart racing, your palms sweating, your eyes tearing up, breathing quickly and a need to exit the situation.  

A panic attack is mysterious, and is an unexpected guest.  You could be having a grand old time with your friends and not consciously worried about anything and it hits you with no warning. 

The first time I realized I had experienced a panic attack was hours after it happened, I had no idea previously what had happened to me.  I was at a friend’s house for a dinner party and I was catching up with a friend who had just finished chemotherapy and radiation.  I was asking questions around how the cancer was discovered and we discussed the treatments she had undergone and the surgeries; I am not a queasy type of person when it comes to healthcare matters, but I will admit I was a bit shocked at the appearance of this friend.  I am not sure if the topic of discussion was something I was worried about personally as Cancer is one of the scariest words I know. 

I was fully engaged in our conversation and I wanted to know more and what the next steps were with her recovery.  Then suddenly I noticed myself becoming warm, like a hot flash, I was perspiring and my face was flushed and felt like it was on fire.  I loosened my scarf and kept chatting and then my vision started to go; I was seeing sparkles like before I develop a migraine.  I then excused myself from the table as I thought I was going to vomit.  I started to make my way towards the stairs, but I could no longer see anything besides sparkles and blurred shapes.  My friends noticed me teetering and began asking me if I was okay, I physically couldn’t speak or respond.  I was worried at this point as my heart was racing and I was sure in that moment I was having a heart attack.  My friend then yelled “Rachel sit down!!!” so I sat myself on the floor.  I was blind so right then and where I stood seemed like the best spot to sit down.  Then my hearing started to go and the voices asking me if I were okay became muffled & distorted like I was under water.  I wanted to say “call an ambulance”, but I couldn’t – I couldn’t speak at all.  I was sure I was dying.  My hands were tingling and I felt like an old tv being shut down when the picture shrinks into a pin dot and then nothing.  I was sure this was the end for me and I was scared, and there was no white light at the end of the tunnel just sheer darkness and panic.  I stayed there on the floor of my friends’ condo in the child’s pose for a good few minutes as I was too weak to get up and I heard someone say “she is burning up” and then I felt a cold wet cloth against my neck.  After ten to fifteen minutes, I began to return to myself, my vision came back, my hearing came back, my temperature returned to normal, and my heart was no longer racing.  I was embarrassed and I apologized as I had no idea what had happened.  I felt too well to have had a heart attack and I didn’t have chest pains.  The only way I could describe what happened was like all of my senses were shutting down.  I was sure I was dying and this was how a brain aneurysm felt or something.  I crawled to my friend’s couch and I laid down.  I was so weak still and I felt like I could sleep for a century as I was beyond exhausted.

I spoke to another friend later  who was well versed in psychology and he said I had just had a panic attack.  I didn’t believe him as I was perfectly fine; I wasn’t even going through an anxious time in my life; it didn’t make sense.  Yet, what I had experienced was indeed a panic attack which is a fight or flight physiological response where your body produces too much adrenaline and my mind and body I guess were not quite in sync. 

I still do not fully understand it, but I do know now what to expect if this happens again.  The two previous times I had panic attacks they were a lot milder and at the time I didn’t know what was going on then (I thought I needed protein or something or I was dehydrated).  

Your mind can make your body react in strange ways and if you are wondering what a panic attack feels like, I am sure there are variances, but what I experienced was a full blown panic attack.  You cannot predict when they may hit, all you can do is ride the wave and know it will pass after a few minutes, and it is just your body responding to what your mind is subconsciously telling it.  

Just remember most importantly to sit down, be comfy and try to relax as best as you can and it will pass.  

Peace & love – Rachel 

Living with Anxiety 

 I am writing this blog to describe my personal accounts with anxiety, as I have found reading about others’ struggles with anxiety/depression to be helpful and encouraging, as sometimes having anxiety or depression can feel isolating and like you’re the only one who is struggling to make your way to the other side (aka peace of mind). This blog is for those who have “come out of the closet” with their “common cold” mental health struggles fully knowing stigma rocks will continue to be hurled and many who read this won’t “get it” at all. I am hoping to pay it forward if you may and be a voice of encouragement. I am hoping someone will read what I have to share and know they are not alone in how they feel. I am not looking for sympathy or pity, but I am looking for some understanding from those who are blessed enough to not be able to relate to what I am saying; consider yourselves lucky. You can have a brilliant mind and suffer from anxiety; you can be well educated, you can be wealthier than Richie Rich, you can have mad skills, you can be a celebrity, you can be an athlete, you can be supremely beautiful and God’s gift to women or men; anxiety/depression does not discriminate. Depression lies and anxiety steals, but the grand old tag team will recruit anyone, and they can choose you at any point in your life. Today, I specifically want to talk about acute anxiety.      

 

From time to time, I suffer from acute anxiety and it is pure hell on earth. Normal for me, is just being anxious and worrying about everything possible in my life, but it is organized worry and I feel pretty okay just worrying about everything all the time. 


 Acute anxiety to me is intense, scrambled worries where they all blend in together, vibrating at a high frequency in my mind bouncing around like a pinball machine with a hundred balls and just as many traps; the thoughts are endless and seamless. 


 I have had anxiety since I was a toddler, but at the time I didn’t know it was called anxiety and it wasn’t as severe, and I didn’t know the obstacles it would cause me in my adult life. 

 

It is hard to put into words how acute anxiety feels, but let’s say if you were waiting for the results of a biopsy and you were called in shortly after having it done, you may assume it is bad news and your anxiety would be very high, in those moments in the waiting room, waiting for your name to be called to receive the news while being fearful it is bad news, and every cell in your body is full of fear and trepidation, THIS is how I feel, but all the time. 

 

Acute Anxiety is excruciatingly painful, and awesomely invisible. I can smile, I can act, and I can go to work and be productive; work is my greatest distractor from anxiety as it allows me to focus on something outside of my worries, but the feeling in the pit of my stomach that something awful is going to happen is still there. If I had to pinpoint one cause for the anxiety, I would not be able to say as sometimes it comes without any explanation or tangible reason. The anxiety comes as it pleases and it will haunt me 24/7 until it decides to leave. It can leave me as mysteriously as it attacks me. 

 

I can go to bed early, or I can go to bed late, but regardless of the time, it usually takes me two hours to fall asleep and it isn’t a deep slumber when I do sleep. If I am able to sleep for more than five hours, it is a good night. Sometimes, I lay in bed stressing about not being able to fall asleep and then I begin to become more anxious as I check each hour on the clock and calculate how many hours I have left to sleep before I have to wake up and go to work and pretend I am happy and “normal”. Acute anxiety impacts my appetite, where I lose my appetite (only good thing is I usually lose some weight), and even favorite foods don’t taste very good, as I am so worked up, it is to a point where I am eating for the sake of fueling my body, pleasure is absent from the occasion. Sometimes the anxiety becomes so great I have to run to a washroom to vomit, which is also a deterrent from eating at times. Feeling this level of intensity is not normal, but it is more common than you know and globally it is on the rise. 

 

It doesn’t matter how many hours I pray, or meditate although praying and meditation does help when I am able to hold the concentration to do so. I try to work out daily and break a sweat creating those happy endorphins, and this helps. I listen to relaxing music designed to reduce stress, and this helps too, sometimes it is the only way I can fall asleep at night. I try to talk it out, I talk to my fiancé about what my concerns are, and he is good at grounding me, but come the following day the anxiety can peak again. I just bought an exercise book which I am hopeful will help me obtain some cognitive behavioural skills to reduce my anxiety, I will let you know how it works.   

 

I am not having panic attacks, although I do know this does happen to others and I cannot imagine the fear and pain which would cause one to have such a panic attack. I just feel amped in a negative way, anticipating stepping on some sort of land mine or some sort of bomb being dropped on me. 

 

Presently, I am going through an acute anxiety episode which also prompted me to write about it as I am living it out now, I haven’t had this level of anxiety happen to me in years. I suspect it was triggered by my Dad being hospitalized two weeks ago, and seeing him in a delirious state as he was running a fever from an infection. I am extremely close to both of my parents who are elderly, and I am trying to face the reality that I won’t have them forever. I am not dealing very well with this impending change. There are life changing events which are in various stages of waiting too, and it will be like a domino effect once one happens as one will cause and affect another to happen. There are no timelines I can impact. I am a planner and a doer, and I like to move things along, and these circumstances are beyond my control, unless I want to pull out, but by pulling out, I won’t be living a life which will afford me more opportunities and joy, so I choose the discomfort. Lack of control and unknowns are something we all have to face, but for me it is beyond painful. 

 

I know logically I shouldn’t feel this way, I know logically this feeling of dread, fear, lack of control, and being amped to high alert will pass, but my body physically and my mind mentally still feel like something horrible is going to happen. I can tell myself “que sera sera” a million times, and no one is able to control everything in their lives, and everyone goes through times of uncertainty, but it doesn’t help. It is beyond frustrating to logically know that how I am feeling is utterly ridiculous, and why can’t I feel normal, why can’t I be normal? Why can’t I just be positive and grateful for all the blessings in life.  

Logic doesn’t care.  


If only…

Peace & love – Rachel 

 

   

Suffering from Social Media Anxiety?  You’re Not Alone…

Once upon a time Social Media did not exist.  These were days of simpler times, when people would sit on buses and read from books made out of paper, and listen to discmans, or have a conversation with a stranger. 


Above, photo of strange slim plastic cases hold shiny discs which I believe play music if placed in archaic contraption.  Rare machinery to stumble upon these days. 

We used cameras with film and printed pictures.  When we snapped photos of our friends or of ourselves we would take one or maybe two pictures in case one did not turn out.  We would wait with baited breath for a week for when our photos were ready to be picked up, having no idea what to expect and only showing these photos to our close friends and family.  We didn’t ask for feedback, we didn’t expect anyone to like or love our pictures, for they were simply taken in an effort to preserve a memorable moment.  We frankly didn’t care if anyone liked our photos as they were for us and us alone.


Camera above is actually a real antique (before my day if you can imagine)

The selfie!  A picture taken of yourself by yourself, sometimes also taken to include friends, enemies or a loved one.


Above is a classic selfie “no, I do not see the camera I am holding pointing at myself”… Ugh.  That was me though, trying to win approval…

Today  you can take a pic of yourself in a matter of moments and you can try over 300 times before you hit the right light, angle, moment, perfect smile, sparkle in the eye, and you look absolutely stunning and you look beautiful.  You have friends who will like and love ❤️ and hey, wait a moment!!!! Three likes are you kidding me?  Is that it?  You look at Jane Doe’s pic who looks like a lucky lottery troll doll and she has over 127 likes, what the heck man?  


Oh wow 😳 maybe people just don’t like me?  Do people find my posts annoying?  Maybe I look too artificial, maybe I should take this pic down and find a more natural pic to post?  


Hey man!  You don’t have to like me, but for goodness sake let’s support “Let’s Talk” and raise some money for Mental Health. 


Before the days of Social Media, life was more simple.  I have maybe ten to 15 close friends across the globe whom I would contact to have a good old fashioned chat with, yet I have a Facebook account with over 600 friends and I don’t need their validation.  

How many social media likes you receive does not determine your value!!!

Most of us know this, but some how it still bothers me when I post something I am excited about and no one likes it!  I am fully admitting, sometimes the lack of likes I receive hurts my feelings!  Despite logic superseding this false sense of lack of validation when you share and no one cares, it brings you down.  


Uh oh!  Do you see what I see above to the right 16 notifications! What could they be?  Maybe someone commented on one of my blogs, or maybe someone liked a recent status up date, or oh no 🙈 maybe someone said something nasty about a post of mine or disagreed with my opinion.  Should I check?  Oh God, I better check.  Phew…  It is all good stuff; just likes and kind comments.  My Social Media Anxiety was through the roof then!  (Shhhh, I still have not checked). 

You may be asking, well Rach, you really have a hate on for Social Media so why don’t you just delete your profile, and I have thought about doing this, but I then have FOMO!!!!  The struggle is real my friends.  

It isn’t all bad.  It can be a very good thing in moderation, and it has allowed me to discover a whole whack of relatives in California and even one far removed cousin in Australia!  It is just I have been using it for the wrong reasons at times and looking for attention or validation through Facebook and Instagram.  

We all know it is a means to display the  best moments in our lives and it isn’t a snap shot of reality. However, it is proven that 20 minutes spent going through your news feed leaves most of us feeling a bit more depressed with our lives.  You can call it “keeping up with the Jones syndrome” or Kardashians, take your pick! 

I see my friend Wilma Flintstone with Fred in Paris sipping on fine wine eating Camembert in front of the Opera House & why can’t I afford a vacation to Europe?  It is human nature & previous to social media I would only be seeing Wilma’s photos if I went to her house, but you see Wilma & I went to band camp together in grade seven and we actually don’t have much to do with each other in reality.  Ahem, in reality…


Sorry Wilma…

Peace & love – Rachel