When You Gain Back Weight You Worked Your Butt Off to Lose

Probably one of the greatest frustrations one can experience is “waking up” and realizing you cannot go back to old habits and if you want to continue to lose or maintain, you need to stick to the healthy lifestyle change.

I had lost twenty pounds by the time summer arrived last year in 2018.  My fiancé Brian was coming over regularly and we would have supper together, and then he would leave in the early evening to go home.  In September we bought a condo together, and ever since I moved in with Brian my weight has been creeping up.  However, I was able to maintain within a pound or two of the 20 pounds lost and then the holidays hit.  I was eating cookies, drinking egg nog and noshing on cheese (my favorite food in the world).  I gained a few pounds, but nothing to sweat or so I thought.  

Last week being the first full week back to work, I decided I was going to be a good girl, I was going to track what I ate and cut back exceptionally, and I did just as I said I would.  It wasn’t until last week when I noticed Brian has something sweet to eat with a coffee every night, and I had been joining him in his yummy excursions of nightly desserts.  I thought, oh, I can do this, I can have one cookie instead of two or three which I had been doing previously since moving in with Brian. 

I thought, I am good to go.  I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this, but sometimes weight gain happens suddenly.  I mean, you are not going to gain a full 20lbs suddenly, but you may gain five or more suddenly and it is mighty upsetting, when the two to three pounds you were letting slide turns into a whopping ten pounds.  On Sunday, this is what happened to me.  I was devastated and angry as I had suffered last week, making all my lunches, bringing healthy snacks, saying no to the majority of treats and I was starving on Sunday, so I binged on some left over Christmas chocolates as I thought, why bother trying if this is going to be the result.  Keep in mind I had decided last week (also being one week) it was time to get back to tracking my food and counting my smart points a la Weight Watchers AND going to the gym regularly.

I thought back to when I first started Weight Watchers in October 2017 and how the weight came off, but in very small increments, two pounds here, one pound there, sometimes less than half a pound per week.  BUT it came off and it felt so amazing last summer and early fall 2018 running into people at the gym who would see me and say “you have lost a lot of weight and you look really good!”.  I didn’t realize how much a difference 20 pounds made on my 5’10” frame and also, it was super slow in coming off. 

It is tough as I worked really hard to lose the weight and now some of it is back, yet, I thought I could go back to some old habits such as having snacks while I watch TV and having a dessert every night.  Brian has a wicked sweet tooth and he always has a stash of wine gums or jelly beans which he breaks out daily and it is hard to say no, but I am saying no to his offers.  Sometimes, I snap back with fire coming out of my ears saying “NO!!!!!!”, but I can say no.  

People will say the 21 Day Fix and Weight Watchers are lifestyle changes rather than diets, and perhaps they are to some degree, as yes, you can have that 25 Smart Point piece of cake and use your “weeklies” to indulge, but add a couple of glasses of wine and an extra slice of cheese, and your weeklies are gone, and I only receive 23 Smart Points (SPs) in a day, so no, I cannot have that piece of chocolate cake unless I have been within 23 SPs every other day, and who wants to use 25 Smart Points on one small piece of cake?  It sucks and it is not fun.  I guess only ever eating healthy food every day with the exception of maybe one day a week is a lifestyle choice, but I don’t enjoy it. 

Yet, not loving your body isn’t fun either, and not being able to fit in clothing or wear certain clingy materials without looking like one of those dogs with all the rolls/wrinkles is disheartening.    

So, I am back on track again after my Sunday weigh in and chocolate binge melt down, and I will be weighing in every Monday morning.  My goal is to lose an additional 25 pounds as I was never quite done with the weight loss, but I was enjoying life with my fiancé.   I barely fit into my wedding dress when I was down 15 pounds, so I need to slim down more and we are being married June 15, 2019.  I am not buying a new dress, so I need to lose this extra weight and then some.  However, my “why” for losing weight is more than being able to look nice on my wedding day.  My “why” actually includes many reasons and a lot less to do with vanity. I will be on the lookout for yummy low Smart Point foods and if you have any suggestions of favorites to share with me, please comment below. 

 My “whys” for losing weight will be a blog for the near future. 

Peace & Love – Rachel