When Depression Kills

When tragedy strikes, we want to understand why, and how it could have been prevented. Sometimes when trying to understand why, we look for someone to blame. Over the past week since the much loved unconventional rock star of chefs, story teller, world traveler and some would say journalist (despite claiming to be without nomenclature when it came to his vocation ), Anthony Bourdain took his own life; there has been a lot of talk as to why and what caused him to take his own life. Naturally, when an adored public figure like Anthony who would seem to have it all suicides, the public try to fill in the missing puzzle pieces with their own theories as to what would have caused someone to end their own life. I would strongly advise anyone who is trying to figure out the mystery behind his suicide to stop right there, as the answer is simple yet complex too. The simple answer is depression. Depression is the devil; it lies, it steals, and distorts reality without mercy. It is relentless in its hauntings, obsessive in the destructive messages it repeats over and over feeding through your mind. Depression will say you’re a sham, you have no purpose; it will tell you the world will be better off without you. Depression hurts in indescribable excruciating ways and sometimes to the point where one will take their own life to obtain some reprieve. Yes, depression can be that unbearable.  

Above, Bourdain, being “Screeched” in Canada’s East Coast province Newfoundland on CNN’s Parts Unknown 

To place blame on anyone for another person’s suicide is deplorable and ignorant. Suicide is never about one reason or one person. Suicide is caused because of a sickness of the mind, and no one knows or understands the chemistry of another person’s mind. People are complicated and like an onion we are all made up of many layers and we all collect a few demons in between the layers; some we slay, some live on indefinitely. 

Picture above advertising CNN’s Parts Unknown with Bourdain sitting on a comfy chair resting upon Canada’s “East Coast’s Rock” better known as Newfoundland. 

I didn’t know Anthony Bourdain besides watching his show on CNN Parts Unknown and other travel foodie shows he did like No Reservatiom. He appeared to be this no nonsense authentic guy who marched to the beat of his own drum. I have seen news articles on the internet about blame being cast on his girlfriend Italian actress, Asia Argento, and scandalous nonsense insinuating she was the cause of his self-inflicted death. I have read the comments of trolls and haters making statements about how Asia’s grief is laughable, and to think about how his daughter feels and et cetera…  Imagine comparing the grief of others like grieving is a privilege and not a human right, it is ridiculous.  Comments made by individuals who knew him as well as I knew him – which basically was not at all. 

Asia isn’t to blame, his ex-wives aren’t to blame, his parents, his past, a bland dry meat he encountered, nor the current state of the US were to blame. It was the depression and his demons which I am sure were many. With regards to Asia, for anyone to put this kind of blame on someone who is in a fragile, wounded state, who has her own depression & demons to slay, it is so wrong. Bashing anyone publically on social media and through other avenues does have the potential to take depression to the next level of no return.  Let’s be mindful of what we say on social media and how it can impact others. 

Please do not blame anyone when a suicide occurs. Depression kills and depression is to blame, no one else.  Be kind to one another as we are all battling  demons & ghosts of various sizes.

Peace & Love – Rachel