Now that you know to avoid the profiles which don’t have a picture or won’t share any additional photos, we can move onto a few more less obvious red flags.
Let’s analyze the “biography” portion of an online profile and what one may indicate about him or herself:
Beware of the bio which contains next to nothing, or possibly no words or something foolish to fill in the mandatory 150 characters. You have to wonder how serious is this individual’s search, and what they are looking for if relying on are a few photos.
Then you have the opposite situation where someone writes a novella, there is a reason why someone may write something so lengthy and it could be the person has a bit more baggage (a Louis Vuitton Luggage set) than most, or is very particular. Look for negative language with words such as shouldn’t, wouldn’t, don’t and won’t; these are often the key words to someone who is scorned. If he has a list of “don’ts”, forget him (or her). A bio should be upbeat and a description of who you are with a few key attributes which make you distinct. I also don’t trust statements such as “I am honest and kind” or “I am not like other guys”; to me these should just be givens and they are blanket statements anyone can use.
The profile which focuses on physical attributes is most likely a bit more on the shallow side of things, and maybe looking for a physical connection before an emotional/intellectual connection. Statements such as “I keep myself in excellent physical shape and I expect the girl I am with to take care of herself” – in online dating language this means he wants a woman who is slender, athletic and toned. He does not mean someone who dresses nicely, has good dental hygiene and goes to the gym a few times a week, more like lives at the gym and “it shows”. Nothing wrong with specifying what you want, but my personal experience with this type of profile is they are looking for near perfection. You will also notice that many of these profiles are what I call “for lifers”. You login in a year later and they are still on the hunt for the near unattainable super model type. Again, nothing wrong with looking for a physical connection, just consider yourself forewarned…
The profile which lists the “must haves” and the list is long; this is someone who has been scorned. A relationship may develop, but it has a past attached to it which will be a part of your present, and get ready to defend yourself. Again, you are warned, and it is by no fault of the person who was wounded, I have been there myself. Sometimes we are searching for love while still reeling from a bad break up; it happens. It just doesn’t allow a fresh start when one of the two is holding onto the pain from the past. It is absolutely fine to have a few deal breaker musts, and I would encourage you to make a list of a few deal breakers, but when it goes from a few to a lot, I would think twice about messaging this person as chances are you are entering a “prove yourself to me” situation.
The “bragathon” profile who talks about his six figure career, his education from a prestigious university, the sailboat he owns, how he spends half of his time in some European country while he has his country home in the valley, and condo in the city, and all the wonderful things his money buys. How he has been so stupendously busy with his career that finally at 42 he is looking to settle down. Ladies, who are 35 or over, he isn’t going to be interested in you. He is looking for a twenty something year old who is gorgeous and whom he can spawn with to keep his legacy alive. You may even see his age limit as 22 – 35 years of age, and 35 is really a “no”. He is looking to buy a lady and someone shiny and new. I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure I am right.
Next blog will be about the profile you want to create which will stand out & receive as many quality hits as you can obtain. Get ready for your mailbox to over floweth!
Peace & Love – Rachel