That Dreaded Question “Why are You Single?”

Why are you single has to be one of the most ridiculous questions someone can ask a single person.  There was a time when I started to reply with a variety of answers to show the absurdity of the question itself.  My number one answer was “because I have a personality disorder” and when I did answer honestly it was the same ho hum logical answer which is probably the case for most singletons out there which was “I just haven’t met the right person yet”.  

I would go through stages usually after a stint of a non-successful dating blitz where I honestly believed that being single was better than being coupled (especially when the available candidates were just total dweebs).  

I truly believe the above pic!  Not necessarily the IQ part, but smart women would rather remain single than be with the wrong person.  

Before I met Brian, I was asked constantly “Why are you single?” and perhaps the goal of the people asking were to express their amazement at the fact some man had not scooped me up by now.  The question was predictably offered up at almost any social gathering or running into an old friend, who would start off with the “have you met anyone special yet?”.  Although intentions may have been genuinely good, I felt disheartened, discouraged and annoyed too.  I began to wonder if perhaps there was something exceptionally wrong with me which I was unaware of, like did I have some bizarre tick no one would tell me about, or did I have turrets and was word vomiting a flurry of profanities completely unbeknownst to myself.  Why was I single?  What was wrong with me?  Why was I only capable of attracting jerks?  Am I boring? Do I sound unintelligent when I speak? Do I sound like Donald Duck when I speak? Someone tell me what is wrong with me? 

Asking someone why are you single is really none of their business.  

It is similar to asking someone “why don’t you have any children? or when are you planning to have children?”.   You have no clue what maybe going on with a married couple, or what challenges a couple may be encountering trying to conceive.  Not to mention not all couples want to have children! 

I know some people want to make small talk, and most of us do have a love life of some sort, but it is not an enjoyable topic for singles to engage in.  

I can totally relate to the above statement too.  I was single for YEARS and/or in drama filled dead end relationships until I met Brian.  

For those who may read this who are single, just know you are not solo in being asked this typical unoriginal question.  Many mean well by it, despite it sounding similar to nails down a chalk board.  If you are single and happy about your situation then embrace it and exclaim it, as love does come quickly and unexpectedly.  

So do not miss online dating…  I am not boasting.  Trust me, I put my time in and how! 

Stay strong, be bold and use your words. 

Peace & Love x Rachel