Before a bunch of dudes get their boxers in a knot, this isn’t a blog about dissing your gender or emasculating men.
Today what I am talking about specifically is the world of dating between men and women. How men will say or do one thing and how women try to “interpret” or “mind read” like what the guy’s intention was to deliver some complicated riddle of sorts – which just isn’t the case.
I want to tell my fellow ladies is men are not complicated and they are actually pretty easy to figure out. I have been dating since I was 16 years old, I am now 43 years old – I finally figured it out at 41 when I met Brian and I was at a “I give up” state. I was ready to be single for the rest of my life as I honestly believed men were complicated and beyond my understanding.
I had read the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” and I saw the movie multiple times.
The book is hard to read and it will make a lot of women angry. It certainly annoyed the hell out of me as I was CLASSIC for trying to interpret the intonation of a text message “Busy, tonight won’t work” or the deafening silence of not hearing back from someone.
Ladies, all you need to know & believe are the three quotes from above. It is so simple. There is no interpretation needed in someone’s silence if you have been ghosted. If a guy says “I don’t want to be in a relationship right now” this one you can interpret and it means “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you right now”. Trust me, I have heard this line twice in my past and both times within less than two months the guy was in a new relationship.
Don’t over analyze what a guy says to you. If they say it isn’t working, believe it, as it isn’t working for them.
I am an analytical type of person in general with a mofo massive imagination; so, I wasted a load of time trying to figure guys out & what they were thinking. Often my gut was right – he just isn’t into me, but my pride & my heart wanted to prove differently.
If only I had walked away when something was over instead of trying to hang on.
Oh Coco Chanel, my favorite fashion icon and a lady who dated many men and was wise beyond her years.
Women need to stop assuming men think like women because they don’t. Men generally tell it like it is, unless we push them by asking questions, texting, calling, bugging them… This is when the fibbing begins as men hate conflict and will do and say whatever to avoid it.
Above is a great visual of how a man may feel if we proceed to pursue them after they have checked out…
For the love of God!!!! Do not text him unless he texts you or he has some of your stuff you need to get back (which has actual value)…
I had to add some Catholic flare to this blog.
John Jacques (aka my Dad) told me “Don’t bug guys. Guys don’t like to be bugged. Let them come to you.” My Dad was popular with the ladies in his younger years & he knew the score. It killed him to watch his daughter chase after guys who just didn’t give two poops about me.
I think Coco Chanel knew a thing or two too about men.
For many years I was a “woest me girl” with a bleeding heart who believed love always hurts. Hey man, love is never perfect and it is going to hurt every now & then, but not to the point of being in a perpetual state of wondering what he is thinking. Wondering when he is going to pull the pin.
Bottom line, if a guy wants to be with you, he will make it happen. If a guy is into you, you’ll know… You won’t have to wonder as he will be calling you up and making plans to see you. He will wine you and dine you & if that isn’t your thing he will find ways to do things you enjoy.
Peace & Love – Rachel