Apologies Are Made By The Strong

John Wayne had it wrong when he said “Never apologize and never explain.  It’s a sign of weakness”.  Well, Mr. Gun Slinger you are incorrect as admitting you are wrong is incredibly difficult, and not for the fain at heart. 

When you are able to admit you were wrong in how you handled a situation, on how you reacted to someone else’s bad behavior or information you didn’t want to hear, it takes courage & strength. It is much easier to walk away in a huff with a screw you attitude.  

It takes strength and courage to approach someone and admit you were wrong.  Whether it was in response to someone else who may have been condescending & rude to you, or for admitting a genuine non deliberate mistake which had negative repercussions.  

Weak people will not apologize or admit they are wrong.  Weak people hold no self accountability for their errors or bad behavior.  Weak people will leave a macabre of carnage, hurt feelings, unresolved issues, and walk away with their head held high with an air of false confidence.  

But guess what non-apologizing peeps!?!  We know you’re wrong and when you don’t own up to your “bads” we kinda lose respect for you… 

Check your ego my friends.  The ego has caused me more drama than I can count.  Just let it go.  Whether in the work place or in your personal relationships, you will yield a lot more respect & kindness if you can admit you were wrong.  It doesn’t make you weak; it means your desire to be in a healthy environment is more important than being “right”.

Self accountability is important in building trust worthy relationships, whether in the work place or in our personal lives; it yields respect .  It allows us to win the trust of others by showing our transparency & approachability.  It shows our humanity.  There is no sense pretending to be right or ignoring some glaring error you have made because friends, colleagues or whomever know when you are wrong, so let go of the ego and admit it.  

Don’t ruin an apology with an excuse or blaming someone or something else.  It negates the beauty of admitting you’re wrong because you are saying you did or said something because of “blah”.  It is like when an evangelist apologizes to a congregation for a down fall & says BUT “the devil made me do it”.  Yucky! 

Own your mistakes.  You did whatever and you were wrong, end of story. 

Be sincere when you apologize.  It is glaringly obvious when someone is paying you lip service or doing damage control.  If you are genuinely not sorry then don’t.  It is better to say nothing.  Or wait until you have cooled down to approach the apology & you have thought about the situation & how your words or actions may have been damaging to another or others. 

Some wrongs done against us or the ones we love are hard to forgive.  I would even dare to say some acts done against others are near unforgivable.  However, when you hold onto hurt or anger they wound you.  If you can let go & forgive it is better for your mental health and your happiness.  

Apologizing is a good thing.  When done sincerely without excuse it shows self accountability, reaps respect, helps repair damaged relationships and builds trust.  It is often difficult to do, and not an action of the weak, but of the strong.  

Peace & love – Rachel